Facing the truth

It’s mid January and the first time in nearly 50 days that I’ve tried to compose a post for my blog. My yellow pads of paper are blank, much like the white space in my word documents. The craziness of the holidays, winter blues, lack of inspiration – any of those excuses could be supported using a little creative writing. Yet, my writer’s block is something much more than procrastination; something I have not been able to clarify in my mind or on paper until today.

A good friend and fellow blogger, Amanda Bretz shared something on her blog, http://authoramandabretz.wordpress.com/2013, that was beautifully written, but took great strength and courage to publish. She is an accomplished writer who is forging her name in the publishing world with her third book and many other accomplishments. Without realizing it, her inspiring words helped me put my problem into perspective.

So what could be so terrible that would freeze my pen and keyboard too? A four letter word sums it up. FEAR.

There is fear of failure; fear of no one caring if I ever posted another thought; fear that my writing does not deserve to be read; fear that if light touches the darkness of my heart, the walls will crumble and expose the stifled hopes and dreams buried so deep that they no longer have have form.

There it is. Now, what do I do about it? Like eating an elephant – it will require one bite at a time. Surely it is possible to find a balance where honesty does not cause pain for others yet allows for fulfillment of needs.

Have you found a way write the truth? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

8 thoughts on “Facing the truth

  1. I’m glad I inspired you, but even I was too fearful to put what I wrote on my blog. What you received today in your email wasn’t something from my blog, but my newsletter. I too would love to write freely on my blog to help others who may be facing similar struggles, but I held back posting today’s writing in the wide open spaces of the Internet because I honestly don’t have the strength right to face the row I know will come of that particular writing. It is my hope that by writing it and getting it out of me and onto “paper” that someday I’ll be strong enough to let the world read it, and let the chips fall where they may.

  2. Struggling with a fear of failure is not limited to my writing but is something that I have struggled with all in many aspects of my life.
    The last line in your blog is exactly what I’m struggling with at the moment. I have a post that I need to write, but the emotions attached to the event are still too raw for me to write a post that doesn’t hurt or belittle those involved or just come across as one big rant.
    My blog is about my journey as an expat living in the Middle East and whilst there are so many things that are different or strange to me, I try and write about them in a way that shares the lighter side of my experiences whilst giving my readers an insight into my new life. I think that I might just need to sit with the emotions and thoughts for a few more days before being able to construct a post that is more in the spirit of my blog but at the same time honest yet not hurtful. And I love the metaphor of eating an elephant – I hadn’t heard that before! Maybe my first bite is to just put some raw thoughts down on paper. So whilst I don’t have any suggestions for you I would like to say thank you for helping me and giving me some clarity.

    • If I can offer a suggestion, write your post in a word document and save it as a draft. You may never feel it should be posted, but the therapuetic benefit of writing it will free you to move on and put the event(s) in perspective. I did this myself and I can’t begin to tell you the healing it granted me. I eventually wrote a book called Peaks and Valleys that contained a gentler version of some of the pages I wrote. I published it and found that many people could relate to the journey and I could let go of the pain. It brought healing to me and provided insight to some of my nieces and nephews who did never understand the dynamics of of our family. Best of luck.

  3. I’m a newbie blogger and I feel the same too, but with all encouragements I get from my friends I kept going, same here I typed n saved in Word doc then copy paste on text. it takes me long to finish one post, being english is not my official language but I think my readers do understand what i post cause since i only started jan 5th of this month 2013, i already have more than 500 viewers including visitors. although i dont get clicks for “like”, i only got 2 followers, but i feel good about myself, i cant complain. it feels good that i am not alone for fear or failure. tnx.

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